Alright the first thing that anyone needs to know about this movie is that it's stupid, but that's the fucking point! I mean it's a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Johnny Knoxville, what else would you expect? So in short, leave your brain at the door and watch some great car chases and gun fights.
"Hey guys don't leave me here."
So the movie stars Arnold Schwarzenegger as a sheriff in a small border town in Arizona. He's so badass he wears loafers on his day off. He has three deputies who are pretty stereotypical and forgettable except for Luis Guzman who is almost always funny in all his roles and this one is no exception. Then we have our main bad guy who I find to be the weakest part of the movie. He's not that funny or threatening, he's kinda like a spoiled brat with a RC car. And that is where we find one of the worst parts of this movie. This skinny Mexican cartel leader is supposed to fight Schwarzenegger and be a "threat", I'm not too amused by this. I mean give me a stereotypical bandito guy played by Danny Trejo. I mean who doesn't want to see Machete vs Sheriff Schwarzenegger, "He fucked with the wrong sheriff and he fucked with the wrong Mexican. This summer see Danny Trejo as Machete and Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Sheriff in the most blood pumping movie you'll ever see, Machete vs. The Sheriff. Coming Never!" But I suppose I'm going a bit off topic now.
Well I really don't want to give out too much out on this one but the basic plot, if you're too dumb to guess it from the trailers, is a bad guy is coming to Arnold's town and he's gotta take control and stop this crook. Lucky for Arnold he knows Johnny Knoxville who happens to own a "weapon museum". And also lucky for Arnold almost all of the town is gone to see their team win a championship football game. Mmmmm that's good plot devices. This movie also gives me another dream of Arnold being in the next Jackass movie. Well that's really all I can think to say about this movie in retrospect it's just an average action movie with some good humor here and there, but will sadly be lost with time like Cobra or The End of Days.
This movie gets 3 laughing Knoxville heads out of 5
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