Bullet to the Head Review

This movie has some surprising well done action scenes. Too bad the cameraman has fucking Parkinson's and can't keep the fucking camera still for the life of him. But the good news is the movie really lives up to its title. Almost everyone who gets killed in this movie is shot in the head. Bravo CG team bravo, too bad all the bullet holes look like they were colored on by the producers snot nosed child. "Honey how would you like to come to daddy's work today?" So the movie begins with Stallone and his partner start their night by having a candlelight dinner aka killing some asshole but not his hooker because killers have codes of honor just like knights. "Alright guys remember no harming women or children so a guy named Stallone can follow our code in the future" So when they're done with that they go to a bar to receive a payment but as Admiral Ackbar says," It's a trap!" Stallone's partner gets killed and Stallone kicks some ass but the killer gets away. Stallone at that point swears revenge. But his revenge will have to wait because there's a cop, played by the Asian guy from the fast and furious movies, looking to bust him as the killer of these two men. But instead of taking him in he leaves Stallone alone and leaves to get shot up.So Stallone has to save Asian guy from two corrupt cops attacking him. Asian guy gets shot so Stallone takes him to his daughter who will obviously not fall for Asian guy, that'd be way too obvious. And then as soon as he's patched up he gets told to receive band aids and a blow pop from Stallone. It's just one of those many unintentionally funny moments from this movie that I won't mention anymore of or else this review will go on forever. It's almost as unfunny as this/ So after one awkward conversation and BlackBerry commercial later they go to a spa to relax or more exactly kick some ass in a towel and find out who killed Stallone's partner. They find out and it turns out it was Remake Conan who did it. And remake Conan is working for Christian Slater and he's working for some guy from Africa who uses two canes to walk. Unless those canes can be used as swords, he's not as cool as this end boss. So they bicker and drive to Christian Slater's house and there's a party going on and there's boobies everywhere. So they crash the party by knocking out Christian Slater while he's attempting to pee in his boss' whiskey. So they take him back to Stallone's place, while bickering again, and find out about some conspiracy no one cared about. And as soon a they're about to have their way with Slater Remake Conan comes to save Slater by shooting up the whole place. Stallone and his wife(yes Asian guy) escape safely while making Stallone's house go boom and killing all the goons trying to kill them except for remake Conan. Seriously they argue more than any married couple. Only difference is that it's okay that Stallone hits him. So Stallone and his wife go to his daughter's home for safety and I forgot what happened next but I do remember that the daughter gets kidnapped and Stallone goes to save her. He goes by himself and trades the information he received from Slater for his daughter but before he can leave safely remake Conan betrays his boss and kills pretty much everyone and Conan decides to have a shaky camera axe fight. Stallone wins and the movie ends. Well it was an entertaining movie but just like The Last Stand it's forgettable action like this that won't go anywhere. If it were just a revenge movie staring only Stallone without the Asian guy I would strongly recommend it then, but since it's not Bullet to the Head gets 2 1/2 Band Aids and Blow Pops out of five. Oh and I forgot to mention I've made it possible for comments to be made by anyone so please leave a comment so I can know how I can improve on these reviews and maybe even take recommendations.